The Deep Chill
by finlaure
Summary: Can the team help Abby deal with a memory. Be sure to read Chapter headings. Not M to begin with, but will go there.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer—I do not own anything but my dreams, and my nightmares. A/N: Warning this multi chapter story will deal with very dark and disturbing images, but I can't go into detail without ruining the story. It is based on a True life story, mine. The names and a couple of things have been changed to protect the innocent and the not so innocent. Though not M at first, this will be rated M for protection. I will try to put a warning at the top of any chapter which contains any M details. A/N 2: I know I will use a lot of Abby centric stories to come. I used her in this after much thought because I identify with her most of all. I am also aware that this is in Present tense. I find that it makes it easier to write flashbacks. Now please enjoy my story, The Deep Chill.

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**The Deep Chill**

Abby stares out the window that is almost buried in snow. She turns to look at her machines again, mentally willing them to speed up so that if the power goes out the results will already be ready. But deeper inside herself, she doesn't really want the day to end. She always hates days exactly like today. She loves snow and she loves winter. She just hates the threat of blizzards. She does not want to have to go home and have all that time to think about things that happened during another blizzard. To distract herself from those thoughts she picks up Bert the farting hippo and wraps her wool scarf around his body.

"Don't worry Bert I won't let you get cold." Abby promises hugging the stuffed toy close to her chest. The usual flatulent noise does not bring a smile to her face this time.

Special Agent Gibbs looks up from his paperwork toward the autopsy assistant who was standing silently in front of his desk.

"What is it Palmer?" he gruffly asks looking back down to his paperwork.

"Dr. Mallard went home at lunch with that cold and all the paperwork is done and there are no more bodies and lab is cleaned up and …" The young man blurts out nervously.

"What do you want?" He asks without looking back up.

"I was just wondering if I could go on home before this storm gets any worse? The radio said that there is a real chance for blizzard conditions before nightfall and I don't drive so well in these…" Gibbs silences the young man with a glare. Gibbs looks out the large windows of the office. The snow is swirling thickly and the skies look much greyer than when he had gone to get his last coffee. He looks back to the young man fidgeting nervously in front of his desk.

"Sure Palmer. Go on home. There are only three hours left anyway."

"Can we go home too Boss?" Chimes from across the bullpen as Palmer quickly leaves before Agent Gibbs can change his mind.

"Have any of you finished your paper work?" Gibbs asks his agents.

"No boss."

"Not yet."

"No Gibbs."

"Well then get back to work." Gibbs barks grabbing another file to read and sign off on.

Twenty minutes later Director Leon Vance walks down the stairs and stops in front of Gibbs desk.

"My wife just called and said that I would have to go pick up the kids because the schools are letting out early. She refuses to let me put chains on her Corvettes tires."

"That could Reeally mess them up Director" Tony says from his desk. Receiving questioning glares from Gibbs and Vance, Tony quickly qualifies his statement by saying, "I mean the tires. Chains could really mess up the tires up on a sweet ride like a 'vette. Shutting up now bosses."

"Do you think it is bad enough to close down?" Gibbs asks looking out the window again.

"The schools just have to be extra precautions because of the buses. Just use your own judgment Gibbs. It is not suppose to get bad till much later tonight. And I already sent my assistant home. She was finished with her work." Vance laughs softly as he walks past the team toward the elevators.

Below in the lab, Abby looks out her small ceiling high windows and notices that they are almost covered by snow. She wipes a tear from her cheek.

2


	2. Chapter 2

The Deep Chill Chapter 2 – See disclaimer and notes from Chapter 1

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A/N—Sorry about the delay everyone. I spent Saturday mostly without power and literally dodging lightning bolts. I just Love spring storms, not.

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_Below in the lab Abby looks out her small ceiling high windows and notices that they are almost covered by snow. She wipes a tear from her cheek._

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"Abby hasn't brought those results up yet" Gibbs says an hour after the Director has left. "I think I'll go and see what is taking so long."

The moment Agent Gibbs walks out of the elevator he knows something is not right in the world of his Gothic princess. He can't hear her music from outside the lab. He decides not to do anything until he is sure what is happing, so he just walks into the lab as usual saying, "What do you got for me Abs?"

"I have machines that are too slow and a broken CD player." Abby replies without turning around from her temperamental machines. Gibbs lets out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

"What happened to your CD player?" Gibbs asks walking over to it and noticing that it looked like a gorilla had played with it.

"It just fell off the shelf when I unplugged the wrong cord. I was trying to…" Abby's stops talking as the building's lights suddenly flicker twice and then go out plunging the lab into darkness.

"Gibbs save me please." Abby screams dropping to the floor where she stands.

As the backup generators kick in and barely light the lab from the hall way Gibbs runs over to kneel beside the franticly sobbing woman.

"It's ok Abs. It's ok." Gibbs gently tries to sooth her.

"I'm alright now Gibbs. Really, I've just been on edge all day today because I wanted to get all the work done before this could happen. And then I accidently broke my CD player so I haven't had my music. And you are the first person to visit me since this morning and I just…"

Gibbs gently puts a finger on her lips and then kisses her forehead, "It's ok now Abs, but I've got to stand up."

As they stand up Gibbs' phone starts to ring, "Gibbs…yeh Tony we lost power too… They have… oh shit I knew I should have earlier. See what food is in the cafeteria and I'll be right up with Abby… She's still here too." Hanging up in typical Gibbs fashion he turns to Abby and says, "The officials have closed all roads so we are stuck here for the night."

"Yeah, Slumber Party," Abby squeals gripping Gibbs in a huge hug, "And don't worry about food because I know where they hide the good stuff in this building and I know that there is a small boom box down in evidence that I can bust out and we can just have a huge…"

"No Abby. We are Not having a Party." Gibbs stops her with a glare, "We can finally get some paper work done and maybe get some sleep."

"Oh Gibbs you are such a party pooper. But I am going to raid the evidence locker for that CD player cause I just can't go without my music for the rest of the night."

"Fine Abby, but you keep it either down here or where ever I don't have to listen to it. But for now I have to get back up there and see what mess Tony has caused by now."

"Giibbbs. You won't go with me down to evidence." Abby whines.

"I know you are not scared of the dark Abby. What's up with you today?"

"Nothing, I just thought, oh never mind. I will just get it all by myself and then stay down here all by myself all night so I don't bother you one little bit."

"Oh, Come on." Gibbs growls grabbing Abby's hand and leading her out the doors, "What am I going to do with you?"

"Just love me." Abby replies in her usual smirk. Gibbs just shakes his head as they take the stairs to get their supplies.

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Five hours later team Gibbs plus Abby are in one of the larger conference rooms looking at a fairly good spread of food and listening to some of Abby more docile music. As Tony grabs a handful of potato chips Tim comments, "This has to last us to at least lunch tomorrow."

"Well then don't eat Probie." Tony teases.

"Should we not be playing cut the head from the horse?" Ziva asks spinning around in a chair already bored of Tony's "paper ball" tournament with the trashcans.

"Ew, gross Ziva. No, It is "pin the tail on the donkey" and that's a child's game," Tony says landing a paper ball on Ziva's head.

"Pinning a tail on a donkey sounds just as brutal for children to be playing as a game." Ziva says throwing the paper back at Tony.

"Well then it should fit all of you." Gibbs says walking into the room catching Ziva's return throw at Tony.

"We've already finished everything that can be done without computers and we won't have them until main power comes back on." Tony says sending a paper airplane in Tim's direction.

"For once your right DiNozzo and that is why I hate computers." Gibbs says catching Abby's paper airplane before it hits him.

"Well then what do we do to keep from killing each other from boredom?" Ziva asks.

"I'm going out and sleep in my chair." Gibbs says grabbing a blanket from the pile they had found in a supply closet.

"Gibbs you can't leave the party yet." Abby says walking over toward him.

"This is not a party." Gibbs states grabbing and crushing Ziva's paper plane that had been heading toward an unsuspecting Tim.

"Then why don't we break out some of the stuff I know you all keep in your desks and make this a real party." Abby says skipping toward the door behind Gibbs.

"NO," Gibbs shouts from the door, "This is still a federal building and we will Not be having a wild party in here just because you kids can't find something to do. Now I am going to try and get some sleep and I better not hear anything from any of you."

"Gibbs, I'm sorry." Abby says with tears in her eyes.

"No, Abby, I shouldn't have yelled at you. I just can't have that happening here. This isn't your place or even mine. Ok." He says wiping a stray tear from her face, "You have to understand I'm still responsible here."

"Then what can we do Gibbs?" Tim asks walking up to put an arm around Abby.

"I don't know, just keep it quite." Gibbs says walking toward the bull pen.

"Hey I know" Tony says finishing a cola, "Let's play truth or dare with this."

"Oh, this could be fun." Abby says clearing a space on the conference table.

"What is this game?" Ziva asks walking over.

"Don't worry Ziva, we will keep it tame." Tony says test spinning the bottle.

"That still scares me." Tim says.

"Oh what deep dark secrets could you possibly have McScaredyCat."

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea." Abby says stopping the spinning bottle.

"What, you too Abby?" Tony questions.

"I just don't want Gibbs to yell at me again." Abby says plopping down in a chair.

"We'll keep it quite Abs. I promise." Tony says kissing the top of her head.

"Great!" Abby jumps up, "You go first Tony."

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Now, nature and electricity providing, I hope won't have any more delays. Thank you everyone for your support so far, finlaure


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer – please see Chapter 1

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Warning – Some M details will be mentioned in this chapter.

And for the story I am taking a little artistic license and pretending the episode where the discussion about their 'first times' didn't happen.

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"_I just don't want Gibbs to yell at me again." Abby says plopping down in a chair._

_"We'll keep it quite Abs. I promise." Tony says kissing the top of her head._

_"Great!" Abby jumps up, "You go first Tony."_

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After a few minutes of fortifying themselves with junk food and colas, the three agents and Abby sit down around one of the smaller round tables in the conference room. Tony opens his mouth but Abby stops him saying, "I meant you get to do the truth or dare first, not who goes first. _**I **_get to ask first. So Tony, truth or dare."

"Dare." Tony says leaning back in chair smiling.

"I dare you to bring back the coffee cup from Gibbs desk." Abby giggles.

The smile fades from Tony face, "I do not have a death wish."

"Come on Tony," Ziva says, "This game was your idea."

"Now who is the scaredy cat?" McGee teases.

"I'll do it." Tony says standing up and straightening his suit, "But if I don't come back, the money is in the can above the refrigerator."

The others laugh as Tony slowly opens the door of the conference room. The sound of Gibbs' snoring drifts into the room.

"No wonder three of his wives left him." Tim comments as Tony silently closes the door behind him.

Tony moves stealthily toward the bullpen. He double checks to make sure that the former Marine is sound asleep before approaching the desk. As he quickly looks the desk over there is no sign of the wanted coffee cup. As his boss shifts in his sleep Tony spots the item clutched tightly in the man's hand.

"Damn." Tony whispers before he quickly clamps a hand over his own mouth.

"Something you want DiNozzo?" Gibbs asks without opening his eyes.

"Just checking to see if you were alright out here boss." Tony lies quickly.

"Really," Gibbs answers sitting up, "I'm so touched. So what was your dare Tony?"

Tony's face goes from red to white realizing that Gibbs will be able to tell if he tries to lie to him, so he tries another line realizing something, "How did you know I had a dare?"

"Because I knew if I left you children alone for more than five minutes you would be playing truth or dare. Now tell me, what is your dare?" Gibbs asks raising an eyebrow.

"I have to get the coffee cup off your desk." Tony squeaks taking a couple of steps back from the desk.

"Who dared you to this suicide mission?" Gibbs levels a steely glare at the younger man.

"Abby." Tony says taking another step away from his now fuming boss.

"Abby?" Gibbs asks with his whole demeanor changing to surprise.

"Yes boss."

"Well we wouldn't want you to go back empty handed would we?"

"No boss, I mean yes boss; I mean I'm so screwed aren't I?"

"No not at all." Gibbs says opening up and reaching inside his locked cabinet beside him, "Here Tony, just give her this and I think she should get the message."

Tony's eyes almost pop out as Gibbs hands him a mug with black skulls and crossbones on it, "Tell her I've been meaning to return it for a while now."

"Yes Gibbs." Tony says taking the mug and starting to quickly walk away.

"And the next person that disturbs me better be telling me that an alien space ship has landed on the White House lawn."

"Actually that happened in a movie boss, 'The Day the Earth stood still'. The original was actually much better in my --- "

"DiNozzo!!"

"Leaving boss. Sweet dreams boss." Tony says running out of the bullpen.

Tony scurries back to the conference room with prize in hand. Entering the room he says, "Ta da."

"Oh that so does not count. But I got my mug back." Abby says grabbing the cup from Tony.

"Why doesn't it count and why did he say you would get the message?" Tony asks sitting down again.

"Because this mug was locked in his desk and he said the next time I saw it I better have learned my lesson."

"What was that lesson?" Ziva asks intrigued.

"Ooops, it was to never mess with his coffee." Abby's face turns brilliant red.

"Well it still counts because it was in his desk and I got it. So now it's my turn."

"Okay, okay. So who and what now?" Abby concedes.

"Probie, Truth or dare?"

"Truth, I don't have a death wish."

"Okay, what was the wildest sex you ever had?"

"Maybe I do have a death wish." Tim sighs as his and Abby's faces both turn red. Noticing this Tony slaps the table and bends over laughing.

"Why does everything in your life have to do about sex?" Ziva asks laughing a little herself as Abby hits Tim's arm.

"It's just in the blood." Tony answers with a huge grin.

"So is it my turn now?" Tim asks squirming.

"No you didn't give any details, McBlushing."

"But Tony."

"Okay slightly different question, but two since you didn't really answer the first one. Where was your first time and with whom?"

As Tim and Abby both turn even deeper red and squirm even more in their chairs, Ziva practically howls with laughter.

Finally catching his breath after a few minutes of group laughter Tony says, "It's your turn. That earned it."

"Okay Ziva, since you found me so funny, truth or dare?"

"Truth, and only because I do not want to move until my sides quit aching from laughing at you."

"Did you and Tony really have sex when you were in that hotel room under cover?" Tim asks remembering the twisted sheets on the bed.

"A lady does not lick and speak." Ziva replies kicking Tony under the table.

"It's 'kiss and tell', and I think that kick and both of you blushing just did." Abby almost squeals.

"Okay kiddies, we all trust each other and nothing leaves this room right?" Tony says scooting closer to the table. Everyone makes the sign of locking their lips and throwing away the key.

"What else were we supposed to do for all those hours?" Ziva admits glancing at Tony. Abby squeals and Tim gets up quickly to get another cola.

"Now then, since everyone knows that rule twelve means nothing, it is my turn." Ziva says as Tim returns to the table, "Abby, truth or dare, and the dare would be to return that cup to Gibbs' desk."

"I don't want to play anymore." Abby says looking away from the group.

"Come on Abs." Tony says, "You are the only one that hasn't gone yet."

"Yes Abby, I even had to admit about myself and Tony that one time."

"Come on Abby," even Tim says, "Everyone else has gone. And we all promise to keep everything said in this room."

"Okay, truth." Abby says not looking up from the table.

"How old were you your first time?" Ziva asks.

Abby crosses her arms on the table and puts her head down on them.

"Come on answer Ziva, and I'll tell how old I was since we all know about Tim now," Tony says reaching across the table and nudging her arms.

"I'll even go next again and answer the same question." Ziva says almost perturbed that she had to be embarrassed but now Abby was chickening out.

After a minute Abby mumbles something no one can understand so Ziva asks, "What did you say?"

Standing up suddenly enough to tip the chair over Abby yells, "I was twelve. I said I was twelve." She runs to the window and presses her face against the cold glass.

As the three people look at each other in shock they hear sobs coming from the young woman at the window. Tony stands up and walks over to the person he considers his little sister.

"Abby…" Tony says touching her shoulder gently, but she jumps and swings at him. His training kicks in automatically and he ducks the punch and puts both arms strongly around the now violently struggling person.

"Abby calm down, it's me. It's Tony." He yells as the other two rush over to try to help him subdue Abby before she can hurt someone.

"Stay away Scott." Abby screams to the room, "Get away from me."

"Abby easy it's me, your Timmy. You know I would never hurt you." Tim says trying to stop Abby from kicking Tony with her huge boots.

"Ow!" Tony yells as Abby throws her head back and hits his face, "Ziva go get Gibbs. He might be the only one that can calm her down."

As Tim sweeps Abby's feet out from under her the three people tumble heavily to the floor. The two agents now try to keep their friend from hurting herself or them as she still struggles and screams incoherently. They hope Gibbs can calm her down.

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A/N --- As you might be able to tell the next chapter starts with the bad stuff in Abby's memory, and therefore mine. Please understand if it is a couple of days before I post again as it might take a little while to write. And I am also working on another story titled "The Cruise" which should be a lot lighter.

finlaure


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer & Warnings -- Please read the first chapter

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Warning – Child rape and abuse discussed in detail in this chapter. If you have a difficult time with this I have another story in the works that is much lighter. I would like my readers to enjoy my stories. This story is more therapeutic than anything, but I hope that you all can gain some wisdom from what Abby, and I, went through.

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"_Ow!" Tony yells as Abby throws her head back and hits his face, "Ziva go get Gibbs. He might be the only one that can calm her down."_

_As Tim sweeps Abby's feet out from under her the three people tumble heavily to the floor. The two agents now try to keep their friend from hurting herself or them as she still struggles and screams incoherently. They hope Gibbs can calm her down._

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Ziva David has never run so fast across a building in her life. The sight of Abby completely out of control has scared her like nothing in her life has ever done. Abby is strong, Abby is her friend, and Abby is hurting like something Ziva has only seen once before. She prays that what she thinks has happened to her friend is not true. She is gasping as she reaches the bullpen and suddenly stops in front of Gibbs' desk.

"Gibbs wake up!" Ziva yells.

"This had better be World War three David or else…" Gibbs growls.

"It is Abby." Ziva pants out, "She is screaming and fighting and no one can get her to stop."

"Where is she?" Gibbs asks jumping up, now hearing the noise from across the floor.

"She is in the conference room." Ziva says, but Gibbs is already heading in the direction of the screams.

"What the hell is happening here?" Gibbs roars running into the room and finding his two agents struggling with his forensic scientist on the floor of the conference room.

"We were playing that game truth or dare and she did not want to answer the question I had asked her so we teased her until… Oh God it is my entire fault."

"Ya think David?"Gibbs asks sarcastically walking quickly over to the group on the floor. He gets on his knees and leans as close as he can to Abby's ear.

"Abby, Abby listen to me. You have to calm down. Come back to my voice and calm down." Gibbs softly says stroking her tear streaked face.

"Gibbs?" Abby finally stops struggling against Tony and Tim.

"Let her go." Gibbs says softly, "Abby come here I got you."

As Tim and Tony let go of Abby she throws her arms around Gibbs neck pulling him to the floor next to her and sobs, "Gibbs please save me."

"Abby come with me, let's sit against the wall okay?" Gibbs says trying to move to the wall with the crying woman hanging on his neck. Finally positioning himself and his girl against the wall he says, "Tony, get me two blankets fast. Ziva get her some water. Tim get Ducky on the phone now. It will be okay now Abby, stay with me. Just listen to my voice and stay with me. "

"What happened with her boss?" Tony asks draping the blankets over the huddling couple.

"You tell me DiNozzo. What was the last thing you guys were doing?" Gibbs asks taking the water bottle from Ziva and helping Abby take a sip.

"I've got Ducky on the phone boss, but the roads are still closed."

"Just hand me the phone McGee. Yeh, Duck, she had another panic attack. I've got her warm now…No, I don't think we'll need the sedative. Is it where you left it? Okay, take care of that cold and I'll call back if I need you."

Snuggling his girl closer to him, Gibbs quietly asks her, "What happened Abs? What set off this panic attack?"

The only answer she can give is more sobbing into his already wet shirt.

"Boss we were just all joking around about, well, things when she decided she didn't want to play anymore." Tim says.

"I've heard that twice now and the next thing I want to hear is exactly what was said before she had her panic attack." Gibbs says without raising his voice but with a look that conveys his attitude.

"Gibbs, we were talking about sex and I ask her when her first time was. When she would not answer we all goaded her until she stood up and yelled that she was only twelve and then she ran over to window and started crying." Ziva explains close to tears at her admission.

"I think I caused her attack though boss. I went over to comfort her and she jumped and tried to take a swing at me and then screamed and called me Scott." Tony says sitting down and putting his face in his hands.

"Sex and Scott, hum, well at least I've got a reason and name this time." Gibbs still holds the shaking woman on his lap.

"What do you mean this time? She has had things like this before, yes?"

"One time we were just talking about a case in my basement and she started shaking and crying. I had to call Ducky to give her a sedative before she could calm down. But she refused to talk about what had triggered the attack." Holding the young woman he considers as close as his lost daughter he says, "As soon as she is strong enough we are going to find out just what happened so this never happens again."

"Abby please listen to me, I am so very sorry that I pushed you to answer anything you did not want to answer. Will you please forgive me?" Ziva asks taking Abby's hand in hers. A slight squeeze in reply is all the other can give but Ziva smiles and then sits down besides Gibbs, "I am here for you too Abby. You are a very good friend to me."

"Abby, is what happened to you, what you would have nightmares about before?" Tim asks sitting down in front of the others. Gibbs just raises his eyebrows at the confirmation that the two had been together.

After a minute Abby raises her head from Gibbs' chest and looks him in the eyes, "You all will hate me if you find out. I can't tell anyone because it will only cause trouble. No one will believe me anyways."

"We could never hate you Abby. Not for any reason. We all love you very much." Tony says looking up with tears in his eyes.

"No one will believe me. He always told me no one would believe me if I told." Abby starts to cry again.

"Shh Abs," Gibbs says stroking her hair, "I will believe you. I have always believed you."

"I don't want to cause any trouble Gibbs. I don't want to be in trouble." Abby's voice starts to sound small like a child's.

"You won't be in trouble Abby. I'll make sure of it. I'm your big brother right." Tony says wanting to touch her hand but scared to after her last response.

"My family couldn't help me before. Why do you think you can help me now?"

"Because we are all trained agents and we _**will**_ protect you." Tony says finally kneeling down beside the other four people.

"Abby, listen to us, that guy will never hurt you again, we all will make sure of it, but now I need to get off this floor." Gibbs says feeling his legs starting to fall asleep.

"You promise. You all promise." Abby asks looking around at her friends.

"I promise, my girl." Gibbs says giving her one last hug before helping her move off his numb lap.

Tim holds a chair out for Abby to sit down in at the large table holding the food while Ziva fills a plate for her friend. Tony holds a blanket out for Abby and when she looks up at him and smiles he gently drapes it around her shoulders.

"Tony I am so sorry that I took a swing at you. You are the closest thing I will ever have to a big brother and I would never mean to hurt you."

"I know that little sis. I'm sorry that I triggered something. Are you ok now?"

"I still feel a little hinky but I'm starting to get my head back together."

"Abby you need to talk about what happened if you are ever going to start healing from what happened to you."Gibbs says sitting beside her at the table.

"Do I have to? I've made it go away all these years."

"Except for the nightmares you've had." Tim says handing her a cola.

"And the panic attacks." Tony says rubbing his sore shins and jaw bone.

"Abby did he, this Scott, rape you when you were twelve?" Ziva asks sitting next to her friend.

"I didn't know. I can't do this. I can't do this."

"Yes you can Abby just take normal breaths and tell me what happened. Just look right at me and you can do it." Gibbs says turning her chair to face him.

"No, not yet, I need Bert. I have to have Bert."

"Tony, go get Bert."Gibbs starts to say but the man is already on his way out the door.

"Here Abby eat this. You need to get some strength back."Ziva says handing her the plate of food. They start to eat in quite. After a half a sandwich, Abby looks up and says, "It wasn't your fault Ziva that I had that a panic attack. I was the one who wanted to play that dumb game anyway."

"We shouldn't have pushed you once you said you didn't want to play anymore. Here's Bert." Tony says walking back into the room with the scarf covered hippo.

"Why does Bert have your scarf on Abs?" Gibbs asks suddenly remembering how Abby was acting in the morning.

"He doesn't like days like today. I didn't want him to get cold."

"Why doesn't Bert like the cold Abby?" Gibbs asks as Abby pulls Bert closer releasing a very loud fart into the room.

"Tell me Bert," Tony tries a new tactic, "Why don't you like days like today?"

"Bad things happen on days like today Tony. A bad thing happened." Abby answered holding Bert up in front of her.

"Abby what happened to you when it was cold?" Gibbs asks, but the only answer he gets is a loud fart from the stuffed animal.

"Bert, what happened to Abby when she was twelve and it was cold?" Ziva asks softly.

"He tricked her. He didn't tell her what he was going to do. He hurt her so bad."

"How did he hurt her Bert?" Gibbs asks softly, finally realizing that the only way Abby can talk about something so horrible is through the animal.

"She didn't know what was really happening. She didn't know what he wanted. She didn't know what it would do." Abby answers burying her face in the soft fur of her talking companion.

"What did she not know about Bert? I am her friend Bert; you can tell me so I can help her." Ziva says slowly stroking the stuffed pets head.

"She had never been told about what would happen. She didn't know it would hurt so much. She just wanted him to stop pestering her so much."

Closing his eyes and slowly swallowing Gibbs asks, "Did Scott force himself into Abby, Bert?"

Abby just nods her head yes and softly cries.

Angry tears burn down the face of Ziva. Tim looks like he wants to throw up and Tony looks like he just wants to throw something. Gibbs gently pulls the sobbing woman closer to him and softly hums a lullaby into her hair as she burrows her head to his chest.

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A/N—Thank you for your patience. The next chapter will be just as dark and hard to write. Then the sun always comes out, for both Abby and me.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 Disclaimer & Warnings -- Please read the first chapter

* * *

Warning – Child rape and abuse discussed in detail in this chapter. If you have a difficult time with this I have another story in the works that is much lighter. I would like my readers to enjoy my stories. This story is more therapeutic than anything, but I hope that you all can gain some wisdom from what Abby, and I, went through.

* * *

Sorry for the delay, I worked the 7th, 9th and 10th and was busy all day the 8th.

* * *

_Angry tears burn down the face of Ziva. Tim looks like he wants to throw up and Tony looks like he just wants to throw something. Gibbs gently pulls the sobbing woman closer to him and softly hums a lullaby into her hair as she burrows her head to his chest._

* * *

As Abby's sobs begin to ease, Ziva hands another water bottle to Gibbs so he can help the upset woman take a drink.

"Abby do you feel safe enough to talk to us yet?" Tony asks hoping to bring his friend back to herself slowly. A soft fart from the toy hippo is the only answer to his question.

"Who is this Scott that Abby is talking about Bert?" Tim asks wanting answers to the anger building inside of him.

"He practically lived with the family of my cousin Keith." Abby says softly, "Scott and Keith were best friends and they went everywhere together."

Ziva remembers something that Abby had said and asks, "Bert, Abby said that she just wanted him to stop pestering her so much. How was he pestering her before?"

Several minutes pass silently before Abby starts talking holding Bert tightly in her arms, "He had always pestered Abby as long as she could remember. Whenever the families would get together he would be staying with Keith. All the kids would go out back to get away from all the adults cause the house was so full. Scott would make sure that he ended up alone with Abby. He would do things that made Abby feel funny."

"Bert, I need to know how old Abby and Scott were when this started." Gibbs softly asks.

"She was four years old the first time he touched her in her private place, and Scott was eight. After he hurt her that time when it was cold and they got older, Scott said that he and Keith had found some magazines that showed how to do things to women." Abby answers and then goes silent again squeezing Bert even tighter.

"What do you mean as they got older?" Tim yells realizing what she had said.

At this the woman who was practically lying across Gibbs' chest starts shaking violently again. Gibbs glares at Tim but starts whispering and humming the same lullaby that he had used before but his girl just shakes harder. As her sobs begin to border on hysterics once again, Gibbs says, "Abby, Tony is going to hold you for a minute while I get something to help you."

Tony looks at his boss with wide eyes but quickly takes his 'little sis' onto his lap in his chair as Gibbs carefully releases Abby's arms from around his neck and places them around Tony's.

"Try to calm her while I go get the sedative Ducky keeps." Gibbs says walking hurriedly out of the room. Tim follows his boss out of the room while Ziva moves closer to Tony and Abby and stokes the woman's hair while softly singing a beautiful Hebrew song her mother had sung to her.

"McGee I thought I told you to stay and help calm Abby." Gibbs gruffly says as Tim walks down the stairs with him toward Ducky's autopsy room.

"I'm too angry to calm her down. I want to find this guy and just. Boss I still love Abby with all my heart even though I know we can never work out and _**This**_, this is killing me."

"And you don't think it isn't killing me too!" Gibbs yells rounding on the young man, "That girl is the closest thing to a daughter I will ever have now and to know that some bastard hurt her like that. It is more than killing me because I want to go out there and kill him. But we can't, at least we can't do anything right now because Abby needs us to help get her through this." Calming somewhat he then puts his hand on his youngest agents shoulder, "I have to get this sedative for her and then once we help her start to recover, then Tim we can see about some justice for Abby."

"Right boss and I'm not sorry for being so angry."

"Good Tim, good," Is all that Gibbs answers as he retrieves the medicine that Ducky keeps on hand just for such occasions.

As the two men walk back into the conference room they can tell that while the hysterical sobs have abated, Abby is in a deeper state of shock. Gibbs carefully injects the prefilled syringe into Abby's arm which is draped around Tony's neck. Abby does not even flinch at the shot in her arm.

"You ok DiNozzo?" Gibbs asks. As his senior agent nods his head he continues, "We have to keep her warm while this medicine works so move over to the couch and I'm going to put a couple of blankets around you two."

Tony carefully and lovingly stands up with his precious charge and walks over to the small sofa in the corner. Tim momentarily takes Abby in his arms as Tony sets on the couch but quickly puts his arms back out to take the closest person he has to family back into his arms.

Before McGee hands Abby back to Tony he whispers to her very softly, "I will always love you no matter what Abby."

Ziva hands Abby her toy hippo after Tim gently places Abby on Tony's lap. Gibbs covers them with a couple of blankets and then walks out of the room motioning for Ziva and Tim to follow him. Turning down the lights as he walks out of the room Gibbs hears Tony softly singing to Abby.

Leading his two remaining agents to the bullpen Gibbs says, "McGee, as soon as full power is back on I want you on the computer finding out everything you can about this Scott and Abby's whole family. And I don't have to tell you not to say anything to her. Ziva, I need you looking up private therapists that deal specifically with childhood issues. I want references on each and the treatment plans they use. Find one that allows group support. We are going to get Abby through this."

Just then the main power came back on stopping Gibbs orders, "Well get to work you two."

"What are you going to do boss?" Tim asks sitting down behind his computer.

"I am going to call Fornell in the morning and call in some favors as well. Then I am going to call the Director and get a lab replacement for a week or so and take us off of active cases while we help Abby. For now I'm going to make sure that the power change hasn't upset Abby."

As Gibbs silently walks back into the conference room a rare wide smile spreads across his face. There on the couch is his senior field agent and his gothic lab specialist both sound asleep. Most everyone in the building knows he considers Abby the daughter that was so violently taken from his life. What few people know is that he considers Tony the son he never got to have since the love of his life, Shannon, had been killed with his daughter. He looks at his watch and decides that since it is a couple of hours before he can start waking up other people he should catch a little sleep. He grabs one more blanket off the emergency pile and pulls a chair close to his 'kids'. Sitting down and pulling the blanket around himself he looks over and smiles one more time before falling asleep himself.

* * *

A/N – Yes this is a little shorter, but harder to write. The next chapter will still be dark too as they start to go through the therapy process with Abby. But please don't give up, this does have a bright spot or two and the end will be worth it. I also want to say thank you to everyone who has left a review or a PM. I appreciate the support more than you can ever know. Hugs to all of you, finlaure


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 Disclaimer & Warnings -- Please read the first chapter

* * *

Warning – Child rape and abuse discussed in detail in this chapter, also a tiny bit of language. If you have a difficult time with this I have another story in the works that is much lighter. I would like my readers to enjoy my stories. This story is more therapeutic than anything, but I hope that you all can gain some wisdom from what Abby, and I, went through.

* * *

_He grabs one more blanket off the emergency pile and pulls a chair close to his 'kids'. Sitting down and pulling the blanket around himself he looks over and smiles one more time before falling asleep himself._

* * *

Ziva awakes slowly to a silent office. She walks over and looks at McGee who must have fallen asleep after she had and laughs. His screen is filled with the number six where his hand is trapped by his head on the keyboard. She walks out of the bullpen and looks out the window over the Navy yard. The ground is covered with the past night's blizzard worth of snow. Everything is glistening white and looks like what she would imagine heaven looking like. Her mind swiftly floods with the memories of what was revealed the previous night and suddenly nothing looks heavenly in the world anymore.

'How can I help Abby deal with what has happened to her?' She once had a close friend back in Israel who had been through similar circumstances. The girl had a hard time handling the situation. Unfortunately the friend had died in a car crash several years ago. Ziva closes her eyes remembering the always haunted look that her friend's eyes had shown. As she opens her eyes she sees some Navy Cadets filing out to begin to shovel the snow from the driveways and decides she better wake Gibbs and Tony before anyone comes into the office.

Jethro Gibbs has always been a light sleeper so as Tony starts to move noisily on the couch he wakes up.

"Hey boss you up?" Tony whispers.

"Yeh, you woke me up. What do ya need?"

"Bathroom and out from under these blankets. I'm sweating big time."

"Here let me help so Abby isn't startled awake." Gibbs whispers back.

"Never mind about not waking me up," Abby says sitting up and throwing the blankets off of her and Tony, "You two whisper louder than most people yell."

"Sorry Abs." Tony says standing up and stretching.

"No problem. I got to go pee too." Abby says accepting Gibbs hand to help her get off the couch. Just then Ziva walks in the room.

"Good. All of you are already awake." She says walking up to them, "I saw some of the cadets out starting to mow snow off the driveways. So I thought I should wake you all up before people start coming into the office."

"It's 'blow snow' Ziva and thank you." Abby says picking up Bert, "Ziva will you come down to my lab with me for a second?"

Ziva looks to Gibbs and he quickly nods his head and says, "Go on, I need to get Tim to bring me up to date on the case we were working on before the electricity went out."

"I think you will find he is deep sixing his report Gibbs." Ziva says with a slight grin.

"What do you mean?" Tony asks wondering how she could have gotten that idiom anywhere near right.

"When McGee fell asleep his hand must have been on the number six because when I woke up and looked at his screen it was full of sixes."

Everyone chuckles at Ziva's explanation as they walk into the bull pen and then look at Tim's screen. The sleeping man still has one hand trapped under his head and one finger is pressed to the six key.

"Come on Ziva I need to go." Abby says walking toward the elevator.

As soon as the women are gone Gibbs shakes his agent awake, "McGee wake up I need that information I asked for before Ziva and Abby come back."

McGee slowly wakes up rubbing his face and staring at his screen, "Which one of you did this to my screen?"

"You did Probie," Tony says with a laughs heading off toward the men's room, "You literally fell asleep on your job."

"Did you get the information I asked for before you fell asleep McGee?" Gibbs snaps, already feeling the need for coffee.

"Yes boss, every bit of history on Abby's family and the other things are in an email to your computer already. The print outs are on your desk in an old case folder. I relabeled deep chill because of…"

"Yeh, I get the connection. How much did you end up being able to find out about this bastard?"

"There was a family with a son named Scott who lived close to Abby's cousin's house. I have everything about him from the day he was born to the speeding ticket he got last week. And Gibbs you are not going to like a couple of the things I found out about him."

"Well?" Gibbs glares now knowing the need for coffee is going to be retrieved by his junior agent for agitating him further.

"You served in the same unit in the Gulf War, he was a marine boss." Tim pauses as he sees his bosses face go redder than he ever thought possible, "Boss that's not the worst thing."

"What could be worse than telling me that I served with and probably know this son of a bitch that hurt Abby?"

"He has a young teen age step daughter."

The two men turn toward the sound of a fist hitting the wall behind them.

"Boss we've gotta find him and" Tony says rubbing his sore fist.

"We are going to get him Tony. But first we have to take care of Abby." Gibbs interrupts walking over to the man who is shaking with anger, "Let me see your hand."

While examining Tony's hand Gibbs says, "I am going to put a call into Tobias in an hour and call in some favors I'm owed. Then I'm going to tell the director that we need to be off the active case load while we help Abby through this first part of her recovery. And I'm going to get her at least two weeks off." Releasing Tony's hand Gibbs looks him in the eyes, "You didn't break it. Now listen to me you two, _**We**_ have to stay strong and focused for Abby now. We can't let our anger get in the way of helping her."

"Ok Gibbs. Just promise me he will pay." Tony says with tears now burning his eyes.

"I promise you that. I swear to God and both of you on my life." Gibbs states to his agents.

* * *

Ziva sits on the metal stool and watches Abby talk to all her machines as she tries to bring them back on line after the power outage. She is amazed at the way that Abby seemingly has bounced back after the breakdown of just a few hours ago. But now she knows that most of Abby's actions are a form of self defense from what she had experienced in her life. Ziva is just amazed at Abby's continued love of life and people. Ziva hopes that the hurt woman never loses that feeling. Just then Jethro Gibbs walks through the lab doors and starts switching off the machines that Abby has just turned back on.

"Gibbs stop that." Abby glares.

"Come on Abby. The Director has decided that since most of the city is closed that you can go home too."

"The rest of the team as well, yes?" Ziva asks wondering if Gibbs has gotten the approval for Abby's temporary leave.

"Yeh, Ziva all of us have been given at least the weekend off." Gibbs looks at Ziva and nods as Abby leads the way out of the room, "Tony said something about everyone staying at my house since it is the closest and I have the most room."

Ziva quickly catches on to what Gibbs is really trying to say. He wants the team to be at his house to help Abby through the next couple of days. She figures she can put up with Tim and Tony's antics for Abby, but she hopes the men will be somewhat civilized.

Over an hour later the group has finally made the usually short commute to the Gibbs residence. Gibbs starts a fire in his fireplace to chase the chill from the house while Tony is sorting through the DVD's the team has left over at the house. Abby and Ziva are trying to make sense of Gibbs' pantry while Tim carries in the groceries they had stopped and bought.

Tim sets the last bag on the table and looks up at Abby who is laughing at something Ziva has found in Gibbs' fridge. His heart starts to break again at the memory of what was revealed last night. His Abby, his first real love, hurt so horribly and at such a young age. The problems in their broken relationship begin to slide into place as he realizes how Abby might think about love and sex and men. Suddenly he can't wait for her therapy to begin. He begins to hope that even if he never gets another chance at love with his Gothic princess, maybe she could find someone who would fill and heal her deep hurts.

After a late breakfast the team settles into the living room to watch movies on the TV system that Gibbs had been convinced to finally purchase. Abby sits in the middle of the couch and motions for Gibbs to sit on her left. As Ziva grabs one of the recliners, Tim quickly heads for the other. Tony sticks out his tongue at both of his fellow agents and says, "Well then I'll just get the privilege of sitting beside Abby."

Less than half way through the second movie all but Tony and Abby are sound asleep. Tim had given up on the uncomfortable chair and had gone to the downstairs bedroom to sleep. Ziva had been banished from the room during the first movie when no could hear the movie over her snoring. Finally Jethro had found the second movie so boring he moved back to his recliner and quickly fell asleep. That left Abby cuddling close to Tony as he is playing with her pigtails.

"Tony you don't hate me because of what you learned last night, do you?"

"Abby I could never hate you, ever. You are closest thing I will ever to a little sister. 'Siete la mia famiglia.'"Tony says pulling her into a huge hug, "The only person I hate is the prick that hurt you."

"It was my fault too Tony. You don't understand, I was too frightened to say anything. I always believed him that if I said anything I would be in so much trouble. I still think that I will be. You don't know everything."

"What do you want to tell me?" Tony says softly while gently pulling her closer.

"I don't want to tell anything else. Tim yelled at what I did say."

"He won't yell anymore I promise. He was just startled by what you said."

"No, he hates me now. And you will too if you find out what else happened."

"Abby look at me," Tony says shifting so that he can look into Abby's eyes, "I said you are my family and I meant it. I even said it in Italian so you would know I meant it."

"Abby, here is Bert," Jethro says suddenly walking up and sitting on the low table in front of the couch, "Why don't you let Bert tell us what happened? Then you let us decide how we are going to feel. But Abs, I will always love you too."

* * *

A/N-- Sorry for the delay. My server is acting up again, or it's just sunspots. I used this chapter to show more of the team's reactions and to relocate the team for the next part of the story. And Yes, I know I changed from using Gibbs to Jethro. It was also to start showing the differance in work and home. Also, don't worry I haven't forgotten Ducky and know that he is an important part of the team. I just didn't want him driving in the snow and weather. Thank you again for everyone's wonderful reviews and comments. You all mean soo much to me.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 Disclaimer & Warnings -- Please read the first chapter

* * *

Warning – Child rape and abuse discussed in detail in this chapter, also a tiny bit of language. If you have a difficult time with this I have another story in the works that is much lighter. I would like my readers to enjoy my stories. This story is more therapeutic than anything, but I hope that you all can gain some wisdom from what Abby, and I, went through.

* * *

"_Abby, here is Bert," Jethro says suddenly walking up and sitting on the low table in front of the couch, "Why don't you let Bert tell us what happened? Then you let us decide how we are going to feel. But Abs, I will always love you too."_

* * *

"No, you will be mad at what happened and judge me." Tears start down Abby's cheeks.

"Abby you are safe here in my home." Jethro says making her look him in the eyes, "No one is allowed to judge or hate you in my house. We all love you."

"I love you too." Abby says throwing her arms around him in a big hug, while Bert the hippo is caught in between them and emits a loud fart. This causes all three people in the living room to laugh.

"Bert, what won't Abby tell us?" Tony asks hoping to catch Abby off guard. Abby settles against Tony's side and starts playing with the button on the front of his polo, "Bert, we need to know so that we can help Abby, ok?"

"He didn't stop with that first time." Abby finally says, "He kept hurting Abby every time her family went to visit."

Tony tries not to tense his body but the anger starts to brew again.

"Bert, how long did Scott keep hurting Abby?" Jethro asks not really wanting to know the answer but also knowing it could mean a charge of statutory rape if the abuse had gone on long enough.

"He wouldn't stop. All those years and he wouldn't stop. I tried to make him stop a couple of times but he would just tell me I had no choice. He said that if I told now that everyone would think I had wanted it, but I didn't. I didn't want it. It started getting so wrong."

"When did Scott stop hurting Abby, Bert?" Tony asks soothing Abby and hoping she wouldn't panic again.

"She was 16 when her family was visiting during a long holiday weekend. Everyone else had gone out to a big party. Abby didn't feel good so she stayed behind. She was asleep when he came in drunk. She was scared that he would hit her if she fought him since he was so drunk. He was still horrible because he couldn't get an orgasm. He kept pushing into her until he finally went soft cursing that it was her fault and then fell asleep on top of her."

The room remains silent for several minutes, both men trying to contain their anger over this latest revelation of horror done to the one they love. Finally Abby continues softly saying, "I had a date with my boyfriend at that time four days after that happened. I was still really sore and my legs were even bruised. I told my guy that I didn't want to do anything and he got concerned because we usually had sex a lot. I started crying and finally told him what was happening with Scott. He said that either I tell my parents about it so it would stop or he would tell them, but either way he said it was going to stop because no one should hurt me like that."

"He was right Abby. No one has the right to hurt you, ever." Tony holds Abby close so she can't see the angry tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

Jethro looks at his hurting kids and wishes he could take the hurt away from both of them. Sensing that Abby might be at her limit of talking again he decides that it is time to start getting everyone to help preparing for dinner.

"Tony, whenever you think you feel up to raiding the freezer downstairs I think some steaks are in order for dinner. I'm going to go uncover the grill on the porch and start it up."

"Sure, do you want me to wake up McSleepingbeauty and Ziva to help with the cooking?" Tony asks still holding Abby.

"Only if you want them to help." Jethro answers walking out of the room.

"I'll help you Tony." Abby says detangling herself from the blanket she and Tony had been wrapped with.

"Why don't you go wake up the others then while I brave the cold of the basement." Tony suggests.

"You are just frightened that Ziva will throw something dangerous at you for that comment about her snoring."

"Hell yes." Tony laughs walking toward the basement.

The team manages to prepare quite a feast for themselves despite the short lived food fight with the peas and the rolls getting a little too brown. Towards the end of the meal Abby cannot finish a sentence without yawning. Jethro gets up and grabs a bottle of wine and five glasses. Ziva and Tim clear the table and prepare to wash the dishes as their punishment for the lack of peas at the meal. Tony walks with Abby back into the living room claiming their spot on the couch.

"You really should consider going to sleep." Tony says to Abby as she yawns to the point of shivering.

"I don't like to sleep after I have thought about, well, what we talked about."

"Just have one glass of wine Abby." Jethro says pouring the wine. Secretly he hopes that Abby will relax enough to sleep soundly without nightmares. He keeps his and Tony's glasses small so they can watch over Abby during the night. After three rounds the team is relaxed and beginning to nod off in the living room.

"I reallllyy don't want to sleep guys. I can go for days without sleep." Abby protests but is betrayed by a huge yawn before she can protest further.

"Tony, you and Abby take my room. Ziva can take the guest bed upstairs. Tim can have the guest bed he already used, and I'll take my air mattress in my boat."

"But isn't it too cold in the basement?" Abby asks worriedly.

"Naw, besides it will be the furthest away from Ziva's snoring." Jethro laughs as Ziva throws a pillow. Everyone notices that Abby is barely able to keep her eyes open. Jethro nudges Tony and points upstairs.

"Come on Abs," Tony says helping the half asleep Goth off the couch, "Time for you to get some shut eye."

Abby pulls some clothes out of the dresser in the guest room and heads for the shower in the master bedroom. She hurriedly finishes and by the time she heads for the bed Tony is already half asleep on top of the blankets.

"Here, you get between the sheets so if I get hot I can throw a blanket off without you getting cold." Tony says pulling the sheets open.

"Tony you know I trust you more than anyone except Jethro so just get under here before you freeze. You know if the electricity goes out again it will be like the Arctic in here."

"If the electricity goes out I think we all will in a big pile in the living room in front of the fireplace." Tony says moving to get in beside Abby.

"You still love me right brother?" Abby asks snuggling into Tony's arms.

"Always, _mia sorella_, always." Tony says kissing the top of her head.

* * *

Jethro Gibbs tries to sleep but even the comfort of being in his mostly finished boat cannot push him under. After a phone call to Mike Franks to give him an update on Abby's situation, Jethro decides to make a silent check of his house. Not that he suspects anyone of trying to breaking into a house with four armed Federal agents in it during one of the worst snows in recent history, but his gut just won't let him rest. He can still feel the tension between Abby and Tim because of Tim's outburst in the conference room. Nothing further has been said about it, but that is the problem. Jethro knows it will need to be discussed between the two former lovers. He had not missed the look in Tim's eyes when Tony took Abby up the stairs. Even though Tim knows that Tony and Abby are practically brother and sister in heart, the jealousy that _HE_ was not chosen to help Abby had shown in his eyes. Jethro throws another large log on the fire and carefully positions it with the poker. Staring into the flames he does not hear the near silent footsteps approaching him.

"Jethro" Ziva says calmly, not wanting to startle the man.

"Yes Ziver?" Jethro answers without moving.

"We need to start talking to Abby about starting therapy as soon as possible."

"I know that. But I also know she will fight going to any doctor."

"A friend I had many years ago never got help and never found peace."

Jethro suddenly turns and looks worriedly at Ziva.

Reading the question in his eyes, Ziva answers, "No it is not I, I promise. She was a daughter of one of my father's guards. She never got help and died in a car wreck before she could ever find peace. I do not want to see the same haunted look in Abby's eyes that my friend always had in her eyes."

"If the roads allow tomorrow I will have Ducky come over and start to talk to her about it."

"He is qualified to help her, yes?"

"No, unfortunately he isn't that specialized. But if anyone can convince Abby to go it will be Ducky. That or I'll carry her there kicking and…" Suddenly both agents look upstairs as they hear loud screams. They begin running up the stairs. Tim appears out of the guest room and is right behind them going up the stairs toward the screams of their friend.

Tony is already mostly awake; Abby has been tossing and turning since falling asleep a few hours before. He has tried to calm her with soothing words and has almost fallen back to sleep when he is suddenly awakened by ear splitting screams. Abby is thrashing in the bed and will not wake up. As the three other people run into the room Tony is trying to untangle them from the sheets. Jethro sits on the side of his bed and takes Abby into his arms.

"Wake up baby. It's just a nightmare baby. Wake up for Daddy." Jethro slowly rocks Abby. Memories of comforting Kelly flood back into his mind and a few tears slip down his cheek. Seeing the tears on Jethro's face Tony quickly motions for Ziva and Tim to join him outside the room.

"Abby is going to be fine now. Just try to sleep the few hours until morning." Tony says directing the other two away from the door.

"Where are you going to sleep?" Tim asks as they walk down the stairs.

"Don't worry about me. Nite McGee." Tony says but just before Tim's door shuts Tony adds, "Tim, you aren't worried that I would try anything with Abby right? I saw your eyes before we went upstairs."

"No Tony, I can honestly say I don't think you would try anything with Abby. Especially right now with her so vulnerable, Gibbs would kill you."

"Tim, she is the closest person I will ever have to family and a sister."

"I know. I know Tony. Um… do you think it would help if I told her about going to therapy when I was younger?"

"Yeh, I remember that now. I don't know, maybe. We'll have to wait and see how much of a fight she puts up about getting help." Clasping the younger man on the shoulder, "That's brave of you, and loving. Go to sleep for now 'kay."

"Okay, night."

Tony stares at the unfinished boat and decides he just can't leave Abby even with their 'Dad' with her. He grabs the air mattress and drags it upstairs to the master bed room. Softly opening the door he drags the mattress into the room and beside the bed. He stifles a sob as he hears Gibbs begin singing a lullaby to Abby. He still hears Abby's soft crying as she has her head buried in her adopted father's chest. Tony lies down on the air mattress and wipes his eyes. He prays and vows to any and all the saints he has ever believed in to let Abby heal and justice be done.

* * *

A/N – Yes this took a long time to post. It also took a long time to write and process. I didn't realize until I talked to a dear friend this week that this is the First time I have ever written about this particular part of my life. So I will not ask for forgiveness for the delay, just understanding. Just be assured that the next chapters only get better, as does Abby, and me.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 Disclaimer & Warnings -- Please read the first chapter

* * *

Warning –A tiny bit of language. If you have a difficult time with this I have another story in the works that is much lighter. I would like my readers to enjoy my stories. This story is more therapeutic than anything, but I hope that you all can gain some wisdom from what Abby, and I, went through.

* * *

_Softly opening the door he drags the mattress into the room and beside the bed. He stifles a sob as he hears Gibbs begin singing a lullaby to Abby. He still hears Abby's soft crying as she has her head buried in her adopted father's chest. Tony lies down on the air mattress and wipes his eyes. He prays and vows to any and all the saints he has ever believed in to let Abby heal and justice be done._

* * *

The next morning, Sunday, breaks fair and slightly warmer. The clouds had broken overnight and the forecasters are promising no more snow. Cars are beginning to move on the now fully cleared roads. Tim sighs as he turns from the window in the living room. He knows that the Team will have to go back to work tomorrow but that Abby needs to take so time off and get help. He makes up his mind that he will tell Abby and the team also if he has to, about his need for counseling as a child. Ziva puts a hand on Tim's arm, "Dollar for your thoughts."

"Actually the saying is 'penny for your thoughts' but with inflation I think maybe a dollar would be more accurate." Tim softly laughs staring out the window again.

"Well?" She asks again standing beside him at the window.

"I was thinking about how to best help Abby through all of this. I've been trying to think of how to convince her to go to counseling and I have come to a decision of what to do if I have too."

"I have been thinking of the same thing also. I am willing to share a memory of a friend's pain that is very similar to hers."

"Ziva?" Tim asks very concerned.

"No not I, but one of my father's guards daughter I knew growing up."

"Good morning early birds." Tony says coming into the room.

"Are the boss and Abby still asleep?" Tim asks walking towards the kitchen.

"Yes, like baby lumber jacks." Tony says getting the cereal out of the cabinet.

"What do you mean?" Ziva asks getting some eggs ready to scramble.

"Never mind, I know how to wake them up." He says holding up a packet of coffee. And as soon as the waifs of coffee make their way up the stairs, the last two people make their way down the stairs to find a full breakfast waiting for them on the table. The team digs into the food and laughs as Jethro warns about another food fight.

"I'm going to check with the DOT and if the roads are safe enough you can go home by dinner." Jethro says finishing the last biscuit.

"I think we should see if the pizza place is delivering and have one last party tonight before we all leave." Abby says helping to gather the dishes from the table.

After Abby and Tim leave the room with the dishes Jethro walks over to Tony and Ziva, "I'm going down to the basement to call Ducky and see if he can come over and talk to Abby about getting help. I want you two to keep her busy until I can get him over here."

"I think that Tim and I have some things we need to talk to her about that will help her." Ziva says to Jethro.

"If you want to share with her that's good, but we do it all together. She will need all of us to support her." Jethro puts a hand on Ziva's and Tony's arms, "We have to stay a strong family."

Tony and Ziva walk into the kitchen to almost be drowned in a full out bubble and water fight between Abby and Tim.

"You two better get this cleaned up before Jethro comes in here." Tony scolds just before becoming the next victim of the sink sprayer. Tim walks toward Ziva with a mischievous smile on his face.

"Oh no you would not." Ziva warns.

"Oh yes I would." Tim says bring his hands out from behind his back and depositing two handfuls of bubbles on top of Ziva's hair. Then the battle is on full force. Laughing and squealing all four adults quickly morph into children.

For several minutes Leroy Gibbs silently stands at the door to his kitchen and smiles. His heart warms at the sight of his team, his family, acting like there were no bad guys to chase and drug smugglers to catch. To see Abby relaxing and laughing is the best medicine in the world as far as he is concerned. The entire world is bright until a stray shot of water hits him in the face and suddenly the room is quiet. All four guilty people freeze in place when they turn and realize what they have been caught doing and just where they are doing it.

"What?" Jethro asks trying his best not to smile, "I needed my floors mopped and waxed, and my countertops and cabinets cleaned and polished."

"You aren't mad are you?" Abby asks timidly.

"Hell yes," Jethro barks, "If I had known that I could get my kitchen and dining room cleaned for free I would have let you all have a water fight in here a long time ago. Now get to work, all of you."

Two and a half hours later the four remorseful and repentant people collapse in the den where Ducky and Jethro are already watching a documentary about wildlife. Dr. Donald Mallard M.E. had briefly looked into the kitchen to see the punishment when he had first arrived.

"Jethro, I swear to you that I will never have another water fight _**anywhere**_, if you will just let Ducky put me out of my misery right now." Tony says laying flat on the floor next to the fireplace.

"I did not think it was possible to develop blisters on one's elbows, but I think I do have them." Ziva moans trying to turn her arm around to check. Tim and Abby softly groan their complaints without words.

"You all are just lucky I didn't make you clean the entire house!" Jethro gruffs hiding a smile in a mouthful of popcorn. His threat is met by a chorus of groans, "Now after all of you naughty little kiddies rest a while I might consider that pizza party that was mentioned earlier." To his great surprise that offer is answered with only the sound of snoring. He turns and looks at Ducky sitting beside him and says, "And _**we**_ are the old ones?"

After letting the group rest for a while Jethro wakes Tony up and asks if he would mind getting everyone's order and calling it in to the pizza place.

"Boss, the pizza place says that for an order that large we will have to come in and pick it up or there will be an extra charge." Tony says holding the cell phone in his hand.

"Why don't you and Ziva go pick up the pizza," Jethro says walking up to Tony, "that will give Ducky a chance to start to talk to her about the therapy. When everyone gets back we can all talk."

"Do you think she will fight us about it?" Tony asks then immediately winces from a head slap.

"Ya think DiNozzo?"

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A/N—Hate to stop this here folks but I got a kinda bad case of food poisoning today and I'm just not feeling very well. But I felt worse about not getting anything out for a while. The next chapter will Not be dark, in fact it will be rather hopeful. Gotta go for now and take another dose of Pepto Bismol. Hey, be sure to check out the poll on my author site so You can have a say my next story. Love all y'all, finlaure


	9. Chapter 9 Personal Update

Update

May 22, 2009, Hi, Yesterday life decided to throw me one of those curve balls that decides to hit you in the head when you aren't looking. I'm really Not in a good place right now in my mind and so I won't be writing or posting for a while. My review response is already behind. Y'all will just have to try to understand. I have to get myself together again. Now don't get worried that I will do anything really stupid or permanent. I'm just really out of it right now and have to try to find the little pieces that once were my self esteem and everything else. I won't disappear completely but just for a little while. I'm having trouble finding myself right now. I have made so many friends on here and I cherish all of you. If any of you want to email me, esp the ones that have my personal addy, I will at least have someone get back to you as to how I am doing. Don't give up on me, my heart has always been in my writing and I will return to it. It's just right now I can't find my heart, my head or anything. I won't say goodbye, just see ya later, Love all of you, finlaure


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9/ now 10 Disclaimer & Warnings -- Please read the first chapter

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Just like the Terminator, "I'm Back." I just want to say a huge thank you and Love y'all to everyone who sent me well wishes and prayers during the difficult time I have had. Things are not totally healed yet; but as I said, writing is in my heart and I couldn't keep away any longer.

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Warning –The reference to childhood abuse is mentioned in this chapter, but nothing in detail also a tiny, tiny bit of language. If you have a difficult time with this I have another story in the works that is much lighter. I would like my readers to enjoy my stories. This story is more therapeutic than anything, but I hope that you all can gain some wisdom from what Abby, and I, went through.

* * *

"_Do you think she will fight us about it?" Tony asks then immediately winces from a head slap._

"_Ya think DiNozzo?" _

* * *

"I have to go call Fornell and see why he hasn't returned my call yet." Jethro says heading down toward the basement after the Tony, Ziva and Tim had left to pick up the food order and drinks.

"Abigail my dear would you please sit down here and keep an old man company for a while?" Ducky says pulling a blanket over his knees to ward off the chill.

"Anytime for you Ducky," Abby flounces onto the couch beside the older man.

"It has come to my attention that you had another panic attack this last Friday night. I was wondering if you would like to tell me about the circumstances of what frightened you to the point of another bout with the tranquilizer serum I prescribed for you."

"You don't know already?"

"I was told that there was a promise of nothing being said to anyone else."

"Well, there was" Abby says with her eyes wide, "But I didn't think that meant you."

"A promise is a promise Abigail dear. No one has told me anything beyond the medical need to sedate you the other night, and I can assure you that the only reason I know of that is because dear Jethro needed to make sure of where I had placed the vials and where to administer the medicine."

"So no one has told you?" Abby shifts uncomfortably.

"No one has said a word. But if you would like to tell me what happened maybe we can see what can be done so that you will never have another one again."

"If I could just talk to you Ducky and no one else I would feel sooo much better. I just don't want anyone else to know what went on in my past. Even though the team knows now and they still love me and I know you will still love me once you know," Abby stops in her rave, "You will still love me Duckman, won't you? I couldn't stand it if you ended up not being able to stand being around me after everyone…"

"You have nothing to worry about my little Gothic princess. I could never hate you no matter what you told me because I know the good person you are inside and the wonderful loving spirit that you have toward everyone."

"Not everyone Ducky, not everyone."

"Well who my dear?"

"Let's see there is Michal the stalker; and then you remember Chip who tried to hurt me after trying to frame Tony."

"Is there anyone else who has hurt you?"

"Ducky do you promise that if I tell you, you will still be my friend?" Abby says grabbing Bert from the coffee table in front of the couch. For the next hour and thirty minutes Abby relates everything she can remember from her childhood until the abuse ended at age sixteen. Tony, Ziva and Tim had previously entered through the back door after having received a call from Jethro that Abby was talking to Ducky in the front room. Finally Abby's stomach growls at the smell of the delicious pizza in the house for the last fifteen minutes and Ducky says, "Why don't we take a break and eat some of that delectable smelling food waiting for us?"

"Tony has probably eaten all of it anyway Ducky, but let's see if anything is left." Abby walks toward the kitchen.

"He couldn't have eaten a bite." Jethro says walking up from the basement with his arms full of pizza boxes, "I've been keeping it down here with me."

"Is it still warm boss?" Tim asks putting out plates and napkins for everyone.

"I kept it on top of my wood bending box just so it wouldn't cool." Jethro says setting the boxes on the table.

* * *

After stuffing themselves to the brim with pizza, chocolates and colas with the occasional beer mixed in, the group once again retires to the den to laze in front of the television.

"I don't want to go back to work tomorrow," Tony whines grabbing his third beer of the evening only to have it grabbed back by Gibbs.

"Are you driving home DiNozzo?" Jethro asks in full Gibbs mode.

"Nope, Tim is dropping me and then Ziva home, aren't you Probie?"

"Yeh, I guess so." Tim says handing Tony the beer he was about to open.

"Good, then you can have an extra Probie snack tomorrow."

"Maybe it will snow three feet tonight and none of us will have to go in." Abby says grabbing the bottle of beer from Tony whom she is leaning against and takes a long swig.

"Abby, I've been meaning to talk to you." Jethro walks over to then sit on the couch beside her.

"Why the serious face Bossman?" Abby tries to ruffle is short hair, "Have another beer and bourbon and relax."

"I am serious Abby. You and I aren't going into work tomorrow."

"Why not Gibbs?" Abby says trying to burying into Tony's side.

"Because you have an appointment with a professional counselor at 11:30 tomorrow morning Abs." The rest of room goes silent waiting for her reply.

"I don't need one and I don't have to go." Abby mumbles from under Tony's arm and blanket.

"Abby, it is obvious that you are still hurting from what happened to you and I th..." Jethro begins to say as Abby interrupts him.

"Don't think. Just Don't think about it." Abby dislodges herself from Tony and the blanket and sits up on the couch edge, "All they will try to do is change who I am and make me different."

"Abigail no one will try to make you change from the wonderful person you are. They want to help you let go and get past the hurt from the awful things that happened to you." Ducky tries to comfort his young friend.

"Can't I just talk to you instead Ducky, Please?" Abby pleads.

"No my dear. I am afraid this is beyond my field of expertise. I will always be here to listen to you, but I cannot help you in this area of your life."

"Abby I want you to listen to me." Tim says sitting in front of her on the coffee table, "When I was a child I had a hard time with having to moving around all the time."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Abby says reaching out for Tim's hand.

"I want to tell you." Tim says gently holding her hand, "When I was fourteen years old I had to leave a friend behind because my dad was stationed someplace new. I got a call from her parents that she had committed suicide three weeks later. She didn't leave a note. I blamed myself for leaving her until my parents got me into counseling. It really helped me Abby. I wish you would give this a chance at least."

"Oh Timmy, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that." Abby says enveloping him in one of her huge hugs, "But this just isn't the same thing Tim. I just can't go."

"Abby I want to tell you about a friend I grew up with. She was the daughter of one of my father's guard's." Ziva says sitting down beside Tim, "She went through something very similar to what happened to you."

"Did she go to counseling?" Abby asks.

"She died in a car wreck before she ever got to get help."

"Then why are you telling me about her Ziva?"

"I do not want you to always have the same look in your eyes that she had in her eyes. I want you to be able to find shalom for yourself Abby."

"Abby I have had this doctor's history completely looked up by Ziva." Jethro begins to try to Abby again, "I have talked to the doctor on the phone about what kinds of therapy she uses and ..."

"You talked about me Gibbs!" Abby yells standing up and facing him.

"No Abby." Jethro says quietly trying to diffuse the rapidly escalating situation, "That is not what I said. I said that we talked about what kinds of therapy she uses."

"For rape victims you mean, you had to have told her about me!" Abby screams grabbing and throwing an empty beer bottle at the brick base of the fireplace. The room freezes in shock until Abby reaches for another bottle.

"You listen to me and do not interrupt me again." Gibbs says standing up and grabbing both of Abby's hands before she can reach her target, "I did NOT break the promise I made to you. I would never do anything to hurt you. I talked to the doctor about what types of treatments she uses to make sure we could all be a support for you while you are going through counseling. I do not break my promises Abs."

The younger woman stares into his eyes and knows that he is telling the truth to her, as always.

"Oh Gibbs, I'm so sorry." Abby starts sobbing as Jethro pulls her into a tight hug, "I know you would never betray my trust. I'm so sorry."

"It's ok now Abby. But will you go tomorrow to see the doctor?" Jethro asks gently tugging on one of her ponytails.

"I'll go as long as you stay with me." She answers without looking up.

Jethro uses one finger under her chin to make Abby look him in the eyes. "I will always be here for you Abby. That is what all of us have been trying to tell you."

"I shall also stay by your side as long as you would like my dear, dear girl." Ducky ads walking over to gently lay a hand on Abby's arm.

"I will drive you or wait for you or go in with you, whatever you need little sis." Tony says taking her into his arms.

"I will always be here to listen to you if you ever need a woman to speak with Abby." Ziva says gently rubbing Abby's shoulder.

"I don't know if it matters right now, but Abby, you will always have a very special place in my heart." Tim says as Abby looks over at him.

"I just don't know what I ever did to deserve such great friends like you guys. I just love you all so much and you are all such special friends. You have become the family that I lost years ago." Abby hugs each person tightly, "I know that this won't be an easy thing and I know that it won't happen instantly; but I think I can deal with it with all of you keeping me safe and warm."

~fin~

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A/N – There will be an epilogue for this. I just thought this was a perfect place to end the main story. I mean, I didn't mention the updates to Fornell and Franks for nothing. And again, many huge thank yous to everyone who have seen me through this story. About half way through this page I realized that I had moved from my story and into just Abby's; but then as I wrote the last part thinking about all the support I have been shown in the last few days and I realized the story had come back together. Love all y'all, finlaure


	11. Chapter 11

Epilogue note – "There will be an epilogue for this. I just thought this was a perfect place to end the main story. I mean I didn't mention the updates to Fornell and Franks for nothing."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Well everyone the plot bunny that was the epilogue multiplied to the point that it is now its own story. I am posting this chapter so I can "close" The Deep Chill, and introduce you to the new story, Operation Bert.

I would love to offer my heartfelt thanks to everyone who supported me through this story and I hope everyone enjoys the sequel, Operation Bert.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Preview – "There is nowhere to hide from the wrath of an angry hippo."


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